Ah, children, such delightful additions to our every day lives. They’re cute and sweet and learning everything for the first time. And then your kid goes and says something like…
“I’ll remember you after we put you in your grave.” said my goddaughter after covering me with a blanket…
I decided to have a sleepover in my sisters’ room, to which my younger sister looked me dead in the eyes and replied;
“And while you’re sleeping. I’m gonna chop you up and eat you” before running off to play.
When I was three, my grandma took me for a walk down a road we hadn’t been before in her heavily wooded area, when suddenly I froze. And whispered, “why are they looking at us?” Grandma looked back. No one was around. The terror slowly slipped from my face as I said, “It’s ok, they’re smiling now.” and I continued to walk on…
My 4 year old on the car ride home from school, said: “Mommy, Rudolph only eats blood. He doesn’t eat reindeer food, only blood to make his nose red.”
My wife and I had parked behind an old abandoned hospital, as the beach was only 1/4 mile away. As we were getting our stuff out, our son Kratos starts laughing and pointing to the empty seat beside him. “The funny old man is making faces at me…” he says as he pointed to the empty seat beside him. She looked at me, I looked back, threw all the sh*t I’d just taken out, into my truck box and peeled out of there.
I have 2 daughters, my 2 year old has 2 toes that are fused up to the first knuckle. A couple days ago my 5 year old came to me and said “Mommy, my sister has toes that are stuck together.”
I replied “yes, she does.”
“If I pulled them apart would she bleed?”
“Yes she would bleed.”
“Would she go to the hospital?”
“She probably would have to go to the hospit-”
“Would she die?”
I quickly told her that her sister wouldn’t die and changed the topic.
Kratos is about 5 now, and keeps having recurring nightmares of being held down in his sleep. Saying that he “went with some people: when he was sleeping. This went on for months. Then out of the blue one day he says “dad I’m not scared of the sleep people anymore. They said they are done now and I never need to go with them again” and the nightmares completely stopped…
Did these bizarre quotes creep you out?
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