The Pentagon. The impenetrable fortress of the United States’ Department of Defense. We’ve all seen the movies and can imagine the insane levels of security in place. But with over 26,000 people working there, just how secure can it be? What secrets hide inside those 5 outer walls?
1. Floppy Disks
It’s a common known fact that whoever becomes the president of the United States of America, also commands the nation’s 7000 nuclear warheads. But perhaps even more worryingly than the fact that, this fleet of doom, capable of destroying the planet lies in the hands of just one… well… let’s just say, person. Is that this ever-poised apocalyptical death-shower runs on floppy disks. Yes. The Pentagon’s intercontinental ballistic missiles sequencers run on 1970’s IBM computers using 8 inch floppies. According to officials, this old tech is actually a lot safer as you can’t just plug in a compromised USB flash drive.
2. Prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse
Back in 2011 the Pentagon drafted up “CONPLAN 8888-11”. This guide to “Counter-Zombie Domination” is actually quite creative and as the plan itself states; “was not actually designed as a joke.”. By referring to the attackers as ‘zombies’ the plan attempts to avoid any unnecessary civilian panic that would occur from discussing more realistic intruders. CONPLAN 8888 tackles protocols from invading Vegetarian Zombies (VZ), Space Zombies (SZ) and even Zombified Chickens (CZ).
3. They Pay Hackers to Attack Them
In the Pentagon sending important and confidential emails is all in a day’s work. And it is of utmost importance that those emails don’t fall into the wrong hands. So to avoid getting left behind and stay at the forefront of Cybernautical Warfare the Pentagon employs hackers to try and break into their systems and point out security flaws.
4. World’s Most Dangerous Hot-Dog Stand
Some hot-dog stands are considered dangerous for the dubious quality of food they serve. However it is rumoured that during the Cold War, the hot-dog stand located at the very center of the Pentagon, always had at least two Russian warheads aimed right at it. This was because Russian intelligence presumed that the center of the building would have been the most important office, but couldn’t have been further from the case. Having two WMD’s pointed at you while you eat can give you wicked indigestion.
5. Top Security
Apart from the usual full body scanners, security cameras, guards and K9 units, the Pentagon is also protected by the PFPA. Sworn federal police officers known as the Pentagon Force Protection Agency, special agents trained and prepared for all kinds of tactical situations. But in case this security wasn’t enough, the offices of the Pentagon are also protected by blast proof windows. In an explosion roughly 75% of injuries occur from fallen or flying window glass. Enemies expecting to throw a grenade through one of the windows have another thing coming. When the airplane crashed into the Pentagon on 9/11 the blast proof windows undoubtedly saved many casualties.
6. They Fund Movies
A famous example was with the movie “Top Gun” which was made in collaboration with the Pentagon. Navy enlistment tables were even set up inside movie theatres on its release and polls showed that viewers had more confidence in the military. Because of this the Pentagon will now fund Hollywood movies that portray the military in a positive light.
7. Underground Subway
In movies the Pentagon is portrayed as an impenetrable military citadel where only the top-brass are permitted entrance, but in reality it has an underground shopping mall with everything from a Taco Bell to a nail salon. Before 2001 the metro would run right into the belly of the Pentagon but was closed before renovations. However it is possible that now the secret metro entrance is only open to the military’s top-brass.
8. Delivery Facility
The Pentagon houses it’s own 2500 sqft delivery facility which deals with all incoming and outgoing shipments. It’s understandable that the Department of Defense is often a target for anti-governmental attackers, so the depot rigorously scans incoming packages with xray scanners, have k-9 units on patrol and 24/7 surveillance. The facility is even blast proof in case of a breach. However, the security on the Pentagon’s outgoing mail apparently isn’t as rigorous, as in 2015 they accidentally shipped samples of Anthrax across nine states. And even sent one to Osan air base in Korea…
As we’ve just seen the Pentagon deals with all kinds of deadly chemicals, but their best advice for surviving an outbreak is still “-to not get infected in the first place.” However this doesn’t stop them delivering them about the place… Nonetheless thanks to their research they have developed an Anthrax antidote and are currently perfecting a paste to protect the wearer from Soman, another deadly nerve agent.
Which one of these secrets surprised you the most?