While the majority of us expect marriage to be blissful, this typically isn’t the case, especially for partners who have been married a significant amount of time. As a result, a certain amount of resentment can often be built up during the relationship.
However, many wives may often not know what could cause their husband to start resenting them, with the opposite of this also being true. While these can often vary from relationship to relationship, there are a few common reasons why this might be the case.
1. Not Fighting Fair
Many of us may assume that happy couples don’t fight, although this isn’t true. In contrast, happier couples are those that fight better than their unhappier counterparts. Typically, this means communicating effectively with their partner during an argument.
As a result, they’re able to resolve the issue quicker and easier than others. However, many couples may not do this, with some reports speculating that this may be because of how some women argue versus how men do.
This is because men typically withdraw from a discussion when a problem is brought up while women are more likely to bring them up. When this occurs repeatedly, it can often lead to resentment being built up over time.
Alongside this is that many wives many often blame their husbands for certain problems. Regardless of whether this is true, framing the discussion in this way can lead to resentment, which is why it’s recommended that you phrase it differently.
2. Treating Him Like A Child
Nobody likes being treated like a child, especially by their partners. However, this is a frequent issue that many husbands may have, with this often being one of the primary reasons why they may grow to resent their partners.
Much of this is because it can lead to a husband feeling inadequate, which will then lead to resentment in the relationship. This can be seen when a wife tries to manage a husband’s life, or if they come across as though they’re micro-managing their daily routine.
While this may seem as though it will be difficult to overcome, it doesn’t have to be. Instead, much of it can be avoided through how statements are worded and how a topic is approached. Tone and other aspects can also place a large role in this.
3. Involving Others In The Marriage
While many people would assume that ‘involving others in the marriage’ means an affair, this typically isn’t so. Instead, it’s usually used to refer to when either a husband or wife speaks to friends or family about the marriage, with this focusing on negative areas.
While many people may often see this as harmless complaining, many husbands may not. There are a few reasons behind this, with one of the more notable being that they could see it as breaking their trust. The rationale behind this is that it could break the ‘couple bubble’ that you’ve created with your partner.
Men can often find this hurtful, so they could have a certain amount of resentment over this, especially if it goes on over long periods.
4. Not Showing Appreciation
Though the majority of men will not ask for it, many will want it when they’ve done something right. While this isn’t going to be the case for every task they complete, they’ll often want a certain amount of appreciation every so often.
Men are much more action-oriented than women who tend to show their affections in different ways. As a result, your husband unloading the dishwasher, for example, would be their way of showing appreciation.
Should this not be seen in return every so often, then it may create a certain amount of resentment. Naturally, this could get worse over time.
5. Withholding Sex As Punishment
One of the core differences between men and women can be seen in how they show intimacy. While women will typically need emotional intimacy so that they can make love, men will usually express this through sex. In some cases, this mismatch can cause a variety of issues, especially when one partner withholds the act as a punishment.
This is primarily because doing so could be the equivalent of emotional blackmail for a husband. As a result, it’s something that will cause a significant amount of resentment, which is especially true if it happens quite a large number of times.
6. Trying To Change Him
In the start of many relationships, people have tried to change their partners in various ways. While your husband will undoubtedly be capable of changing, this doesn’t mean that you should focus on changing them.
Much of this can relate to treating them like a child, which is how some people have approached the area. By doing so, you could make him feel as though he can’t be himself or that he isn’t good enough.
By doing so, you’ll be creating a certain amount of resentment that will get worse over time. This is especially true if you focus on the little things. Instead, you should concentrate on yourself and lead by example.
7. Making Important Decisions Without Him
Research has shown that money is one of the leading causes of arguments among married couples, regardless of how much of an income they have. Much of this has been driven by the fact that some partners may make important financial decisions without their input.
Alongside this are a variety of other important decisions which should be done together. By not including your husband in these choices, you’ll sow the seeds for future resentment. Coupled with this will be the period with which the decision will affect both of you, which could make the resentment much worse.
8. Not Giving Him A Chance To Be The Dad He Wants To Be
Men and women typically have different parenting styles, with men usually having a more rough-and-tumble approach to playing with their child. In contrast to this, women may often be more hands-on with a variety of things.
Often, these styles may clash, and it’s typically the mother’s approach to parenting that wins out. This is something that many men may come to resent, as they may feel as though they’re not allowed being the parent they want to be.
Alongside this, they may believe that their children are less independent than they would like, which is a trait that many men will want in their kids.
9. Act Jealous If He Looks At Others
Jealousy is something that causes quite a significant number of arguments in a relationship, with many of these being caused when a man looks at another woman. However, what many don’t take into account is that men are visual creatures, while many wives may overreact when the situation occurs.
This reaction can often lead to men feeling defensive about noticing somebody else, which is something that could then turn into resent. As a result, it can be recommended that people avoid reacting much worse than they should in this regard.
10. Expecting Immediate Forgiveness
Studies have shown that looking for and receiving forgiveness from a partner can often lead to more satisfaction in a relationship. Though apologizing will help to manage and ease a conflict, saying that you’re sorry may often not be enough.
Instead, wives will need to know why their husband is upset in the first place so that she can apologize for what she may have done wrong. While the reverse of this is also true, many women seem to overlook this.
Alongside this, it’s recommended that you acknowledge that you know what you did was upsetting and asking what you can do to make up for it. These are aspects that everyone can apply when they’re apologizing to anybody else, as they’re often the most effective ways of apologizing.
When doing so, however, you might find that you don’t receive forgiveness immediately. Instead, it may take several hours or days, which means that you may need to be patient. While this doesn’t always happen, it’s something that you may want to look out for.
Apologizing and wondering why you haven’t been immediately forgiven could mean that you might make the situation worse. This could mean that you should give your husband the space he needs to process the apology if it’s needed.
While resentment in a marriage can vary dramatically in cause from couple to couple, the above are some of the more common. It can often be difficult to determine why a husband seems to hate his wife from the outside looking in.
As a result, you’ll need to spend a considerable amount of time looking at your relationship to determine what may be causing this resentment. In many cases, it can often be recommended that you speak to your husband about what may be creating these feelings.
When you do so, remember to keep the above in mind so that you can avoid doing anything that may increase this resentment. Communicating effectively can often be the most effective way that you can do so.
With this, you should be able to tackle any negative feelings that you and your husband may be feeling towards each other.